transcendlabels asked: What are your thoughts about romantic love? Do you think there are misconceptions about it in our society?
I think the biggest misconceptions about romantic love in our society isn’t about the love itself but the path.
There’s this fixation on the idea of finding love, of being worthy or finding someone worthy. There’s an idea of giving, getting, needing, rejecting. Love has been commoditized.
In addition to this, there are also hangups regarding what is normal and expected. Job, marry, family, retirement, and so on. Romance is relegated to a compartment of lifestyle or romance is relied on for hope and a sense of self.
I’m not confused by the people who have casual sex or one night stands. I’m confused by the people who jump from one relationship to the next, yet who seem to be unhappy with every partner. Those are the people looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend, just a body and mind in a role to be filled.
In my opinion, there needn’t be a thought of “I want a [boy/girl]friend” before actually meeting someone to whom you feel genuine attraction. Otherwise you wont actually see people, you’ll just see candidates.
The mind cannot find love for you, but the heart will always be able to recognize it. We use our eyes and nose to inspect food but we wont know the reality of it until we taste it. Similarly, we can use the mind all we want to make responsible decisions, yet we will not be able to know the reality of love until we use the instrument of the heart.
Personally, I really don’t know if I will be in a passionately loving lifelong relationship or if I will be alone the rest of my life. All I can do is remain open and see what’s what as life unfolds.
In the end, love is never found or handed to you. It is a way of life in which there is continual intimacy with the aliveness in the present moment.
Anonymous asked: Eros is making me lose all interest in my sadhana, what do I do?
Find a balance. Love and even sexual desire is not incompatible with your spiritual practice. Balance and harmony is what will save you.
Anonymous asked: Someone I am very close to just basically said they don't want me in their life, I really want to fix this
Well, back off a bit. Maybe they are just reacting emotionally or need some space. Ultimately it is their choice and you should honor that choice even if it hurts. Sam.
Anonymous asked: What should I do if my lover is suffering from depression and anxiety and my reassuring presence is taken for granted? He has been hurting me very deeply but I've still stuck by, and I'm not sure whether I should leave, because I don't know how much the sickness can be used as an excuse for.
You must guard against co-dependence. If your presence is enabling him then you are doing him no favors. We must also guard against having our own energy drained by others. Give what you can give, freely and without a desire for thanks or appreciation, then back away if necessary. He will manage if you do this. Sam.
Science has shown that the greater whale species and the dolphins have highly evolved brains. It is just that theirs evolved differently from ours. We evolved a complex neo-cortex. They evolved complex neural pathways from the hypothalamus and amygdala. In short we evolved to think and they evolved to feel.